Loonely Toones

 

 

Hasee Toh Phasee

Rating:
February 07, 2014
Cast: Sidharth Malhotra, Parineeti Chopra, Adah Sharma, Sharat Saxena, Manoj Joshi, Neena Kulkarni, Anil Mange
Director: Vinil Matthew
A young man finds himself drawn to his fiancee’s sister in the days leading up to his wedding. That ghisa pita formula gets a fresh coat of paint in ad-filmmaker Vinil Matthew’s feature debut, Hasee Toh Phasee, a not-always-convincing but seldom boring romantic comedy. For the most part, Matthew and writer Harshvardhan Kulkarni stay away from standard tropes of Bollywood love triangles, choosing quirky humor over sappy sentimentality to endear their protagonists to us.
In between making preparations for the wedding, and trying to land a chunk of money to keep his event management business from floundering, Nikhil (Student of the Year’s Sidharth Malhotra) is handed charge of Meeta (Parineeti Chopra), the black sheep of his fiancee’s family. Back in town seven years after robbing her parents and running away, she must be kept hidden from them at all costs.
Chopra is terrific as Meeta, pill popping and crazy mannered, but a genius scientist adept at everything from repairing household gadgets to charging a car battery from the generator on an illuminated bus shelter. She has palpable chemistry with Malhotra, who’s in very good form as the rudderless Nikhil, conflicted in matters of both heart and career.
Unfolding against the lead-up to a big, fat Indian wedding, Hasee Toh Phasee gives us some of the funniest, most inspired moments in recent rom-com memory. A shopping trip to Bhuleshwar becomes complicated when an elderly grandma snaps her sandal-strap. Nikhil’s own father (Sharat Saxena) faces an embarrassing investigation when an expensive necklace goes missing. And, in one of my favorite scenes, Nikhil wakes up his father-in-law-to-be (Manoj Joshi) in the dead of the night to discuss wedding arrangements.
Indeed, it’s a bunch of such refreshingly original sequences, the unconventional bit characters that the makers throw in (a cousin who breaks into acapella renditions of Anu Malik songs, a millionaire investor who conducts business meetings in the sauna, a fat Gujarati uncle eager to make conversation), and the charming performances by the leads that make up for the many speed bumps in the plot. I was never fully sold on the reasons for Meeta’s dependence on anti-depressants, her real motivation to be reunited with her father, and the flimsy subplot about an unpaid loan in China. They come off as contrived in a film that’s otherwise delightfully off-centre.
Brimming with witty dialogue and some genuinely heartfelt moments, the film doesn’t snap even under the weight of its clichéd climax. At 2 hours and 21 minutes, it’s a tad long and repetitive, yet saved by some solid acting. Parineeti Chopra, in particular, deserves every accolade that’ll come her way; this is her fourth film release and once again she’s the best thing in it.
I’m going with three out of five for director Vinil Matthew’s Hasee Toh Phasee. Despite its problems, it’s pretty good fun. Go see it.

That 70's Show

 

 

Gunday

Rating:
February 14, 2014
Cast: Ranveer Singh, Arjun Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, Irrfan Khan
Director: Ali Abbas Zafar
The nostalgia that Gunday evokes is unmistakably 70s Bollywood. From its best-friends-versus-the-world premise to clap-trap dialogues delivered with clenched teeth and flared nostrils, to the messy hand-to-hand fight scenes…the ingredients are certainly in place. For a while, the film succeeds in grabbing your attention too with its striking period detail and some nicely mounted scenes. But rolling out at 2 hours and 34 minutes, it can’t help feeling like a slog.
Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor are Bikram and Bala respectively, two buddies who were displaced as kids after the Bangladesh Liberation War in 1971. Fearless and pushed to the wrong side of the tracks, they return to Calcutta becoming petty coal thieves, and then quickly go on to control the local black market. A senior cop (Irrfan Khan) is transferred to the city to “break them”, even as a pretty cabaret dancer (Priyanka Chopra) becomes the object of both their affection, predictably driving a wedge in their seemingly unshakeable friendship.
It’s all formulaic stuff, and director Ali Abbas Zafar cheerfully pilfers bits and bobs from the best of 70s Bollywood, including Sholay, Deewar, and the Yash Raj banner’s own Kaala Patthar. He gives us slo-mo entries for the protagonists, heroes who swear undying friendship, lofty lines peppered with keywords like jigar and zameer, and just about everything that you’ve seen a hundred times before. The problem with Gunday isn’t only that it’s derivative, but also tediously boring.
The film’s leading men too, although unquestionably sincere, don’t have the sheer machismo or the sex appeal of such action stars as Amitabh Bachchan and Vinod Khanna in the seventies. Don’t get me wrong: Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor sportingly strip down to flaunt their waxed and oiled chests in what turns into an unintentionally comical action scene. The camera caresses their gleaming torsos as they land blows on each other in slo-mo (again!), the whole sequence looking like a deodrant commercial.
Priyanka Chopra is annoyingly coquettish in her early scenes, but quickly finds her groove, and a few solid scenes to show what she’s got. Expectedly, it’s Irrfan Khan who leaves the lasting impression. Whether plotting against his prey, or reminding another officer not to mix feelings with duty, he chews up the scenery every time he’s on screen.
Gunday isn’t unwatchable, but it’s certainly a case of potential squandered. The film has an authentic look and feel of 70s Calcutta, some robust cinematography, and a few good tunes. It’s also got two live-wire leading men whose on-screen chemistry sadly isn’t mined for enough laughs.
I’m going with two out of five for director Ali Abbas Zafar’s Gunday. Watching it is a lot like eating the same thing for dinner four times in a week.

Must watch....!!

Original sin

 

 

12 Years a Slave

Rating:
January 31, 2014
Cast: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender, Lupita Nyong’o, Benedict Cumberbatch, Paul Dano, Paul Giamatti, Sarah Paulson, Alfre Woodard, Brad Pitt
Director: Steve McQueen
There are enough scenes of brutal violence in 12 Years a Slave to make your skin crawl. But few are as disturbing and as genuinely shocking as one in which a black slave is left hanging from a tree, grunting from suffocation, his toes barely touching the ground. Behind him, children play and other slaves go about their chores, fearing for their lives if they even look his way. The camera lingers on this wide shot for several minutes as if to emphasize the sheer helplessness of these people.
Directed by British artist and filmmaker Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave takes an unflinching look at a shameful chapter in American history. This is slavery examined with searing honesty, far removed from the Hollywood sugarcoating of Gone With The Wind, or the revenge-fantasy approach of Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained.
Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Solomon Northup, on whose autobiography the film is based. An educated free black man in 1841, living with his family in Saratoga, New York, Northup is kidnapped, sold, and sent to work at a Southern plantation, where he barely survives a dozen years of inhuman torture and bondage. Solomon’s first owner is a relatively compassionate man (Benedict Cumberbatch), but then he’s sold to the sadistic cotton-plantation owner Epps (Michael Fassbender), from whose savagery no one is spared, not least the female cotton-picker he’s obsessed with (Lupita Nyong’o).
Never an easy watch, the film’s unforgiving brutality inevitably inspires a deep sense of shame. McQueen refuses to cut away as men and women are lashed till the skin is peeled off their backs. Every piercing wail, every cry as a mother is separated from her children, prompts you ask aloud: How could anyone be so heartless?
The film is particularly effective because of its remarkable cast, led by Chiwetel Ejiofor, whose eyes alone convey volumes of pain and repressed anger. Michael Fassbender, terrific as his relentlessly cruel owner, evokes memories of another spiteful villain, the Nazi concentration camp commander Amon Goeth as played by Ralph Fiennes in Schindler’s List.
Nicely shot and paced, the film works because it breathes with reality. McQueen drives every scene to the core of its emotions, and their cumulative emotional effect is devastating. I’m going with four out of five for 12 Years a Slave. It’ll leave you shocked, ashamed, angry and overwhelmed.

jai ho ? are u serious !!

Joy? No!

 

 

Jai Ho

Rating:
January 24, 2013
Cast: Salman Khan, Daisy Shah, Tabu, Danny Denzongpa, Nadira Babbar, Genelia D’souza, Ashmit Patel, Aditya Pancholi, Mahesh Manjrekar
Director: Sohail Khan
Salman Khan goes into messiah mode as he rescues innocent children from a terrorist outfit, returns a kidnapped baby to its harrowed parents, writes an exam paper for a handicapped student, and repeatedly takes down swarms of bad guys who dare stand in his way. He’s ‘being human’ – make that ‘superhuman’ – in director-brother Sohail Khan’s well-intentioned but frankly naïve drama Jai Ho.
Salman plays Jai, the neighborhood good Samaritan who shows up at a moment’s notice each time someone’s in any sort of trouble. But after a tragedy that occurs because of people’s general apathy towards each other, Jai encourages everyone he’s helped to repay three strangers with kindness, and to keep this “madat ki chain” going so as to make the world a better place.
It’s not a half-bad premise (happily ‘borrowed’ from the Kevin Spacey-starrer Pay It Forward, though the film itself is a remake of the Telugu hit Stalin), but one that’s abandoned midway to make room for the numerous action sequences that dominate this movie. Presumably because Salman must break bones, wring necks, and punch chests every few minutes, Jai Ho turns into a gruesome revenge saga of sorts. So when goondas affiliated to a political party are brutally thrashed by Jai for harassing his sister, matters spiral into a full-blown war with a corrupt Home Minister (Danny Denzongpa).
To offer respite from the wall-to-wall punch ‘em-ups, there’s the inevitable romantic track, with newcomer Daisy Shah. Alas, her chemistry with the film’s leading man is colder than a frozen popsicle. And while she makes up for her complete lack of acting chops with her impressive dancing skills, it’s a shame elevator music is more memorable than the abysmal songs in this film.
To be honest, very little stays with you when you leave the cinema, aside from the unpleasant aftertaste that comes from being shamelessly manipulated. From exploiting limbless little girls, to showing us beggar children being assaulted, the film stops at nothing in its attempt to move you to tears. If your heart does go out, it’s to the few good actors who’re wasted by being made to stand around and participate in this silliness. The abundantly gifted Tabu, in the part of Jai’s sister, oozes grace despite the thankless scope of her role. And it’s a pity Nadira Babbar as Jai’s mother, and Mahesh Manjrekar as a kindly auto-rickshaw driver, didn’t have more substantial parts. Only pint-sized Naman Jain (of Chillar Party and Bombay Talkies) gets a few light moments to shine, even if they do mostly involve a running joke about the color of a young lady’s innerwear.
Aside from them, it’s as if every out-of-work actor in Salman’s zip code was offered a walk-on part: Ashmit Patel, Yash Tonk, Vatsal Seth, Nauheed Cyrusi, Tulip Joshi, Mahesh Thakur, Aditya Pancholi, Sharad Kapoor, even Sunil Shetty. It’s a whole bouquet of stinking violets.
Naturally then, it’s up to Salman Khan to hold it all together. He roars and fights and even weeps on cue. In one scene, he kicks an ambulance into motion. Closer to the end, he rips the shirt off his back for a mano-a-mano with another muscled hunk. It’s a committed performance, but he deserved a smarter film.
For all the references to the aam aadmi and the solutions it offers to inspire change, this film ultimately is about the victory of a man who lets his fists do the talking. Muddled message there.
I’m going with two out of five for Jai Ho. It might have its heart in the right place, but the brain appears to be missing.

Two times nothing = zero

 

 

One By Two

Rating:
January 31, 2014
Cast: Abhay Deol, Preeti Desai, Rati Agnihotri, Lilette Dubey, Darshan Jariwala, Jayant Kriplani, Anish Trivedi, Yashika Dhillon
Director: Devika Bhagat
The two protagonists in One By Two – a software guy (Abhay Deol) and a dancer (Preeti Desai) – don’t meet until the very last scene of the film. It’s an usual and even a   fascinating idea to construct a movie around, but writer-director Devika Bhagat can’t seem to come up with a compelling enough screenplay to beef up that idea.
Abhay’s character Amit, still heartbroken from having been dumped by his girlfriend, spends all his time moping, or fantasizing that she will return to him soon. Meanwhile, Preeti’s character Samara, is frustrated from her dancing career going nowhere. We watch as their lives run parallel, which means we get repeated split-screens and far too many instances of ‘missed connections’.
One of the problems with this film is that it plays out like a sitcom. There’s enough chick-lit philosophizing to make you barf, and supposedly adult characters who behave like overgrown teens. So Amit is comfortable enough around his buddies to break wind when his tummy rumbles. But when the same gag is repeated thrice over, you know they’ve run out of ideas.
There’s an excruciatingly stupid subplot involving Amit and his friends hacking into the software of a dance reality show in order to sabotage the producer’s job, because he’s dating Amit’s ex. Inevitably, Amit’s meddling with the software will have a consequence on Samara, who’s got her hopes pinned on winning that show.
Neither of the two is having much luck at home either. Amit’s mother (Rati Agnihotri) is desperate for her son to get married, and takes it upon herself to fix him up with a prospective bride. Samara, for her part, the illegitimate daughter of a married big shot, is keen to reconnect with her estranged daddy, while caring for her alcoholic mum (Lilette Dubey). You see, there’s a lot going on here, and yet, nothing that drives the film’s plot. There’s no conceivable reason why we in the audience, should care for these two to end up together. Other than the fact that they’re both not particularly likeable people and hence probably deserve to be together.
Abhay Deol has very little to work with, and not enough charisma to salvage this flawed material. He’s pretty good in one scene in which he shocks a roomful of guests by belting out a rebellious track on his guitar, dressed only in his boxers and a vest. Preeti Desai, his real-life girlfriend, is easy on the eye, but has a long way to go in the histrionics department. Her dancing skills too, are average at best…unforgivable in a film that relies so heavily on them.
One By Two tries hard to break the mold of Bollywood rom-coms, but seldom offers scenarios or characters that are refreshingly original. A feisty young girl whom Amit dates on his mother’s insistence steals the film in only a couple of scenes. She’s got what the film badly needed – oodles of spunk.
I’m going with one-and-a-half out of five for Devika Bhagat’s One By Two. To quote a song from this very film: I’m just pakaoed!